After watching a few of those modern, guy ritchie type gangster movies I decided to compile a list of rules for aspiring crime lords. Here's a few things that crime bosses should remember;
Never let some fast talking smart ass kid talk his way out of trouble. I'll admit, it's not every day you meet some teenager willing to crack jokes with an underworld figure who is clearly only here to get his money or kill a bitch, but this is no time to go soft and admire his moxy. Instead take the approach that if some little punk managed to lose/steal/gamble his way into a few hundred grands worth of trouble with you and has no way of repaying you that you should probably kill him. It's not going to tarnish your reputation, it will in fact only cement the bad ass image you have spent years cultivating. You are after all, a crime boss.
Under no circumstances should you decide to use him in a plan so fiendish in it's intricacies that it is doomed to blow up in your face even before you add the aforementioned smart ass who has absolutely nothing to lose by weaving a giant web of double crosses and back stabs. Let's face it, you're probably going to kill him anyway and he probably knows this. You are just encouraging him.
If you decide you have to kill someone, to get a point across, him or his friend, so the other one knows you mean business, try and kill the guy who is better dressed, has a bit more savvy and looks like he is more capable of formulating a plan to get back at your empire and leave you in the poor house.
If you do want to kill one of them, always use your own guys. And for choice, make it one of the burly ones who lifts weights, eats meat and has done some time in jail. But most importantly make sure it is one of your henchmen who is not likely to be overpowered by a brat in his early twenties who only shaves once a week for heavens sake.
And remember, there just aren't that many coincidences in the universe at any one time. If the last 48hours seems to contain an unnatural number of freaky synchronicities, then someone is almost certainly lying to you.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
I am the Champions
I am the champions, no time for losers etc.
So I won my second fight. And the Irish in Chiang Mai were out in force to show their support. This one was a lot tougher against a better opponent for more rounds. This guy was tough, he even took a knee to the face in the second round which I thought would have finished him but he stood straight back up and got back in the affray. One of the tougher guys from our gym fought him before and had five rounds of hell before a points victory and a leg that took enough of a beating to make Rodney King blush. I am glad to have only found this out after the match or those kicks of his would have really hurt.
Had an alright first round, but needed Tim to remind me to relax and pace myself. I suppose it's just the bouncer in me trying to finish as soon as possible so I can get back to getting phone numbers from chicks and sending young fella's home for an early shower. Took a kick right on the side of the knee which hurt quite a bit and affected me, mentally more than physically, getting my leg up to block in subsequent rounds. I looked down at my knee at the end of the first round to assess the damage and instantly wished I hadn't bothered.
Second round was better and I got to more of his kicks than before. Took a couple of his punches but my extra thick skull and big neck meant I could ignore them for the most part. Gave it back to him as well and landed a few nice punches of my own, not least of which was a left hook from in close that shook him enough that I could see it. This was closely followed by a clinch in which I got the better of him and gave him a knee in the face, in the same style as won me my first fight. Unlucky though, I launched it half a second too late and he had already started to pull away so I didn't get a full touch. Followed this up with a left hook and I thought it was all over when he sat up. He looked around blankly and I figured he didn't know where he was, and even when he stood up he shook his head like he wanted to quit, but it was not to be. I had a bit of a cold going into the fight which I didn't think would make that much difference but when I went to inhale through my nose at the end of the second round, I could only breath through my mouth.
I came out in the third, starting to feel the effects of fatigue and we got to it again, with him turning the pace up a little. Not to be outdone I gave it back as hard as I got it. At one stage, in the clinch, I tried a very anaerobic movement which didn't pay off and I felt instantly drained. In fact it was thew very same feeling I get in training that prompts me to take a break, but there was no breaks to be had here. I went back in to him and he kicked me so hard I fell. There was a huge cheer from half of the crowd and I jumped straight back up. I don't mind him beating me, but I'll be fucked if I let him steal my audience. So we were right back in the clinch, and when I twisted him around, I knew it was all over, even before I fired my knee. My stronger one at that.
Unlike in my first fight where I sort of threw my knee by accident. Not by accident as such, but I wasn't looking for it, it just sort of happened, this time from the clinch I was actively seeking this exact position. And it paid off.
So what did I learn this time? Well my dropping hands is still an issue, even when I replayed the fight in my head, and I imagined the ideal response to his various attacks, I still imagined the perfect fighter I visualise myself as, with a dropped lead hand. Also, my cardio was an issue as the match wore on and I doubt I'd have made it through five rounds. Now I'd like to say my cold, the heat and humidity were contributing factors but the awful truth is, I didn't train long enough or hard enough or often enough as I could or should have and it could have cost me the match. This will definitely change for the next fight. And I learned not to be too relaxed. I was very tense going into the first fight but by contrast I felt almost no anxiety for the second. I was very relaxed, but maybe a little too relaxed as the first few hard shots were a bit of a shock. But then nothing focus the mind quite so well as being shot at, as Churchill would say. And he should know, because he's dead.
So I won my second fight. And the Irish in Chiang Mai were out in force to show their support. This one was a lot tougher against a better opponent for more rounds. This guy was tough, he even took a knee to the face in the second round which I thought would have finished him but he stood straight back up and got back in the affray. One of the tougher guys from our gym fought him before and had five rounds of hell before a points victory and a leg that took enough of a beating to make Rodney King blush. I am glad to have only found this out after the match or those kicks of his would have really hurt.
Had an alright first round, but needed Tim to remind me to relax and pace myself. I suppose it's just the bouncer in me trying to finish as soon as possible so I can get back to getting phone numbers from chicks and sending young fella's home for an early shower. Took a kick right on the side of the knee which hurt quite a bit and affected me, mentally more than physically, getting my leg up to block in subsequent rounds. I looked down at my knee at the end of the first round to assess the damage and instantly wished I hadn't bothered.
Second round was better and I got to more of his kicks than before. Took a couple of his punches but my extra thick skull and big neck meant I could ignore them for the most part. Gave it back to him as well and landed a few nice punches of my own, not least of which was a left hook from in close that shook him enough that I could see it. This was closely followed by a clinch in which I got the better of him and gave him a knee in the face, in the same style as won me my first fight. Unlucky though, I launched it half a second too late and he had already started to pull away so I didn't get a full touch. Followed this up with a left hook and I thought it was all over when he sat up. He looked around blankly and I figured he didn't know where he was, and even when he stood up he shook his head like he wanted to quit, but it was not to be. I had a bit of a cold going into the fight which I didn't think would make that much difference but when I went to inhale through my nose at the end of the second round, I could only breath through my mouth.
I came out in the third, starting to feel the effects of fatigue and we got to it again, with him turning the pace up a little. Not to be outdone I gave it back as hard as I got it. At one stage, in the clinch, I tried a very anaerobic movement which didn't pay off and I felt instantly drained. In fact it was thew very same feeling I get in training that prompts me to take a break, but there was no breaks to be had here. I went back in to him and he kicked me so hard I fell. There was a huge cheer from half of the crowd and I jumped straight back up. I don't mind him beating me, but I'll be fucked if I let him steal my audience. So we were right back in the clinch, and when I twisted him around, I knew it was all over, even before I fired my knee. My stronger one at that.
Unlike in my first fight where I sort of threw my knee by accident. Not by accident as such, but I wasn't looking for it, it just sort of happened, this time from the clinch I was actively seeking this exact position. And it paid off.
So what did I learn this time? Well my dropping hands is still an issue, even when I replayed the fight in my head, and I imagined the ideal response to his various attacks, I still imagined the perfect fighter I visualise myself as, with a dropped lead hand. Also, my cardio was an issue as the match wore on and I doubt I'd have made it through five rounds. Now I'd like to say my cold, the heat and humidity were contributing factors but the awful truth is, I didn't train long enough or hard enough or often enough as I could or should have and it could have cost me the match. This will definitely change for the next fight. And I learned not to be too relaxed. I was very tense going into the first fight but by contrast I felt almost no anxiety for the second. I was very relaxed, but maybe a little too relaxed as the first few hard shots were a bit of a shock. But then nothing focus the mind quite so well as being shot at, as Churchill would say. And he should know, because he's dead.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)