Dave gets off lazy arse shock

Hello to anyone who still reads this.
So, this is about 3 weeks overdue, but I went on one of those elephant trek dealies with Pedro. We had a ball. Trekking through the uncharted wilderness at the whim of a dumb beast. Much like America and the middle east I expect, only I can wake up from this horrible nightmare. Nah, I'm kidding George, you're trying.
The trek we went with was really good, an elephant show, some rafting, several gift shops full of crap that your ma would just love. Until it falls apart anyway. The concept of the elephant camp is fairly simple. Keep the animals in a certain area not unlike a nature reserve, chop there tusks off to stop poachers, have them perform tricks for banana and sugar cane treats which the tourists feed them as part of their 2o0 kilos of food per day. The money is then spent on more food for the fat fuckers. Still, it's not like they don't deserve it, carrying fat, uncaring tourists through the jungle. By contrast, Sarah, a Scottish girl went to an elephant sanctuary, which was just a four hour guilt trip about taking rides on the backs of elephants and the wrongness of everything. And although she never mentioned it, you can be fairly sure that none of the women shave their legs.
Speaking of Sarah, she had her very first fight a few weeks ago and did exceptionally well. Very relaxed and composed, not like the usual brawl that most foreigners, myself included, have first time out. Kept her cool very well, and started banging the elbows in, landing an absolute cracker to win by TKO in the early in the third round. But I digress..
So yeah, after looking at the elephants in pretty much their natural habitat we watched some monkeys jump about and perform some fairly standard tricks. Not as nice as the elephants as half of them were tethered and as Pedro pointed out the other half were probably untied and whipped into submission as our bus approached. You know, 'dance you curs. Or there'll be no bananas for anyone.'
Then we went to a butterfly farm attached to an orchid farm. That's about as much fun as it sounds to be honest. I thought the butterfly farm would be a vast, landscaped paradise full of legions of exotically coloured butterflys that would resemble Jules Verne's Fantastic Voyage but the reality was more like 20 cubic metres of cage with a hundred or so species of fairly standard flutterbys who didn't even scream as I pulled their wings off. Although I did get to watch a child fall, knees first, onto some gravel so, not all bad.
Anyway, that's all for today, although choon in the morrow for I will do last weeks one and this weeks one .