Wow, it's been a while eh?
Where to begin? Pedro came up with another idea for a tour which this time was a visit to the hill tribe people. I didn't like the sound of it to be honest but after he made sucha good call on the elephant trek I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
We started of in the orchid farm witht the butterflys, same as last time only no kids with gravelly knees this time. Then we were back on a bus for hours, until we stopped to get fed at some terrible roadside diner. A thin gruel followed by some plain rice, if I recall. Anyway, it was back on the bus and on to somewhere else. To be quite honest, I can't remember the order in which we did things, except that we spent 7 of the 9 1/2 hours on a stupid bus, occasionally being herded off to gawp at the locals, take a few snaps and get back into our now warmed up mini bus. A lot like a certain chosen people of Isreal during the early half the last century, except we were allowed tro take pictures and there was no death camp. Though at times, I wouldn't have minded. Mainly because I am blonde haired and blue eyed, and know all the words to the German anthem.
We visited some hermits cave with a load of buddha statues in, which was pretty cool. We also went to some mountqain temple where we could look into Burma or some other identical South East Asian country. But mostly it was sitting on a bus, waiting for a half an hour of culture and trying to take max's mind of getting sick.
We took quite a few picture and if you saw them you'd think it was the best day out ever, but in fairness, it was entirely down to the quality of the company and nothing to do with the tour itself.
Right, another blog to follow, possibly after dinner
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
The boys are back in town
Well last week and this week saw the arrival of two of my 'friends' from Dublin, Colin and Max. They both moved into my place and have settled in nicely, which is cool coz since mark left there's been no-one to laugh at my fart jokes and various unfounded racial slurs.
The training is going even better now as neither of the two will let me half a half arsed day. I was in a bit of a funk because I had sort of shot my load, so to speak, training wise about 3 quarters of the way through the lead up. Not unlike the writers for 24 in that respect. But I'm back on track now and training hard for a fight on the 17th, which will lead me nicely into a drink fuelled orgy of destruction, as I desperately try to fulfil the prophecy of death before the age of 30. I'll have 4 days which I think should be plenty based on previous orgies.
Colin is going to make some form of documentary about me and my trip so that should be... well, I won't be watching it, let's leave it at that. He tried to make a video of him wrestling the Bjj champ Pedro but apparently I spoiled it with a series of rape jokes in the background. Spoiled, or fixed? Well spoiled, to be honest.
Right I guess that's it for today, but I'm going on one of those treks tomorrow to see the hill tribes so there may be plenty of mirth in the coming days. And of course plenty of dick jokes. Oh, and I just found out that Pete and Lurtie will be over next month and they'll be bringing Emmet, so anyone whos been missing my particular brand of humor need only wait for Emmet to rob my new jokes and stick them in his act.
Peace out homies.
The training is going even better now as neither of the two will let me half a half arsed day. I was in a bit of a funk because I had sort of shot my load, so to speak, training wise about 3 quarters of the way through the lead up. Not unlike the writers for 24 in that respect. But I'm back on track now and training hard for a fight on the 17th, which will lead me nicely into a drink fuelled orgy of destruction, as I desperately try to fulfil the prophecy of death before the age of 30. I'll have 4 days which I think should be plenty based on previous orgies.
Colin is going to make some form of documentary about me and my trip so that should be... well, I won't be watching it, let's leave it at that. He tried to make a video of him wrestling the Bjj champ Pedro but apparently I spoiled it with a series of rape jokes in the background. Spoiled, or fixed? Well spoiled, to be honest.
Right I guess that's it for today, but I'm going on one of those treks tomorrow to see the hill tribes so there may be plenty of mirth in the coming days. And of course plenty of dick jokes. Oh, and I just found out that Pete and Lurtie will be over next month and they'll be bringing Emmet, so anyone whos been missing my particular brand of humor need only wait for Emmet to rob my new jokes and stick them in his act.
Peace out homies.
Dave gets off lazy arse shock
Hello to anyone who still reads this.
So, this is about 3 weeks overdue, but I went on one of those elephant trek dealies with Pedro. We had a ball. Trekking through the uncharted wilderness at the whim of a dumb beast. Much like America and the middle east I expect, only I can wake up from this horrible nightmare. Nah, I'm kidding George, you're trying.
The trek we went with was really good, an elephant show, some rafting, several gift shops full of crap that your ma would just love. Until it falls apart anyway. The concept of the elephant camp is fairly simple. Keep the animals in a certain area not unlike a nature reserve, chop there tusks off to stop poachers, have them perform tricks for banana and sugar cane treats which the tourists feed them as part of their 2o0 kilos of food per day. The money is then spent on more food for the fat fuckers. Still, it's not like they don't deserve it, carrying fat, uncaring tourists through the jungle. By contrast, Sarah, a Scottish girl went to an elephant sanctuary, which was just a four hour guilt trip about taking rides on the backs of elephants and the wrongness of everything. And although she never mentioned it, you can be fairly sure that none of the women shave their legs.
Speaking of Sarah, she had her very first fight a few weeks ago and did exceptionally well. Very relaxed and composed, not like the usual brawl that most foreigners, myself included, have first time out. Kept her cool very well, and started banging the elbows in, landing an absolute cracker to win by TKO in the early in the third round. But I digress..
So yeah, after looking at the elephants in pretty much their natural habitat we watched some monkeys jump about and perform some fairly standard tricks. Not as nice as the elephants as half of them were tethered and as Pedro pointed out the other half were probably untied and whipped into submission as our bus approached. You know, 'dance you curs. Or there'll be no bananas for anyone.'
Then we went to a butterfly farm attached to an orchid farm. That's about as much fun as it sounds to be honest. I thought the butterfly farm would be a vast, landscaped paradise full of legions of exotically coloured butterflys that would resemble Jules Verne's Fantastic Voyage but the reality was more like 20 cubic metres of cage with a hundred or so species of fairly standard flutterbys who didn't even scream as I pulled their wings off. Although I did get to watch a child fall, knees first, onto some gravel so, not all bad.
Anyway, that's all for today, although choon in the morrow for I will do last weeks one and this weeks one .
So, this is about 3 weeks overdue, but I went on one of those elephant trek dealies with Pedro. We had a ball. Trekking through the uncharted wilderness at the whim of a dumb beast. Much like America and the middle east I expect, only I can wake up from this horrible nightmare. Nah, I'm kidding George, you're trying.
The trek we went with was really good, an elephant show, some rafting, several gift shops full of crap that your ma would just love. Until it falls apart anyway. The concept of the elephant camp is fairly simple. Keep the animals in a certain area not unlike a nature reserve, chop there tusks off to stop poachers, have them perform tricks for banana and sugar cane treats which the tourists feed them as part of their 2o0 kilos of food per day. The money is then spent on more food for the fat fuckers. Still, it's not like they don't deserve it, carrying fat, uncaring tourists through the jungle. By contrast, Sarah, a Scottish girl went to an elephant sanctuary, which was just a four hour guilt trip about taking rides on the backs of elephants and the wrongness of everything. And although she never mentioned it, you can be fairly sure that none of the women shave their legs.
Speaking of Sarah, she had her very first fight a few weeks ago and did exceptionally well. Very relaxed and composed, not like the usual brawl that most foreigners, myself included, have first time out. Kept her cool very well, and started banging the elbows in, landing an absolute cracker to win by TKO in the early in the third round. But I digress..
So yeah, after looking at the elephants in pretty much their natural habitat we watched some monkeys jump about and perform some fairly standard tricks. Not as nice as the elephants as half of them were tethered and as Pedro pointed out the other half were probably untied and whipped into submission as our bus approached. You know, 'dance you curs. Or there'll be no bananas for anyone.'
Then we went to a butterfly farm attached to an orchid farm. That's about as much fun as it sounds to be honest. I thought the butterfly farm would be a vast, landscaped paradise full of legions of exotically coloured butterflys that would resemble Jules Verne's Fantastic Voyage but the reality was more like 20 cubic metres of cage with a hundred or so species of fairly standard flutterbys who didn't even scream as I pulled their wings off. Although I did get to watch a child fall, knees first, onto some gravel so, not all bad.
Anyway, that's all for today, although choon in the morrow for I will do last weeks one and this weeks one .
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
I'm a geezer, init?
After watching a few of those modern, guy ritchie type gangster movies I decided to compile a list of rules for aspiring crime lords. Here's a few things that crime bosses should remember;
Never let some fast talking smart ass kid talk his way out of trouble. I'll admit, it's not every day you meet some teenager willing to crack jokes with an underworld figure who is clearly only here to get his money or kill a bitch, but this is no time to go soft and admire his moxy. Instead take the approach that if some little punk managed to lose/steal/gamble his way into a few hundred grands worth of trouble with you and has no way of repaying you that you should probably kill him. It's not going to tarnish your reputation, it will in fact only cement the bad ass image you have spent years cultivating. You are after all, a crime boss.
Under no circumstances should you decide to use him in a plan so fiendish in it's intricacies that it is doomed to blow up in your face even before you add the aforementioned smart ass who has absolutely nothing to lose by weaving a giant web of double crosses and back stabs. Let's face it, you're probably going to kill him anyway and he probably knows this. You are just encouraging him.
If you decide you have to kill someone, to get a point across, him or his friend, so the other one knows you mean business, try and kill the guy who is better dressed, has a bit more savvy and looks like he is more capable of formulating a plan to get back at your empire and leave you in the poor house.
If you do want to kill one of them, always use your own guys. And for choice, make it one of the burly ones who lifts weights, eats meat and has done some time in jail. But most importantly make sure it is one of your henchmen who is not likely to be overpowered by a brat in his early twenties who only shaves once a week for heavens sake.
And remember, there just aren't that many coincidences in the universe at any one time. If the last 48hours seems to contain an unnatural number of freaky synchronicities, then someone is almost certainly lying to you.
Never let some fast talking smart ass kid talk his way out of trouble. I'll admit, it's not every day you meet some teenager willing to crack jokes with an underworld figure who is clearly only here to get his money or kill a bitch, but this is no time to go soft and admire his moxy. Instead take the approach that if some little punk managed to lose/steal/gamble his way into a few hundred grands worth of trouble with you and has no way of repaying you that you should probably kill him. It's not going to tarnish your reputation, it will in fact only cement the bad ass image you have spent years cultivating. You are after all, a crime boss.
Under no circumstances should you decide to use him in a plan so fiendish in it's intricacies that it is doomed to blow up in your face even before you add the aforementioned smart ass who has absolutely nothing to lose by weaving a giant web of double crosses and back stabs. Let's face it, you're probably going to kill him anyway and he probably knows this. You are just encouraging him.
If you decide you have to kill someone, to get a point across, him or his friend, so the other one knows you mean business, try and kill the guy who is better dressed, has a bit more savvy and looks like he is more capable of formulating a plan to get back at your empire and leave you in the poor house.
If you do want to kill one of them, always use your own guys. And for choice, make it one of the burly ones who lifts weights, eats meat and has done some time in jail. But most importantly make sure it is one of your henchmen who is not likely to be overpowered by a brat in his early twenties who only shaves once a week for heavens sake.
And remember, there just aren't that many coincidences in the universe at any one time. If the last 48hours seems to contain an unnatural number of freaky synchronicities, then someone is almost certainly lying to you.
I am the Champions
I am the champions, no time for losers etc.
So I won my second fight. And the Irish in Chiang Mai were out in force to show their support. This one was a lot tougher against a better opponent for more rounds. This guy was tough, he even took a knee to the face in the second round which I thought would have finished him but he stood straight back up and got back in the affray. One of the tougher guys from our gym fought him before and had five rounds of hell before a points victory and a leg that took enough of a beating to make Rodney King blush. I am glad to have only found this out after the match or those kicks of his would have really hurt.
Had an alright first round, but needed Tim to remind me to relax and pace myself. I suppose it's just the bouncer in me trying to finish as soon as possible so I can get back to getting phone numbers from chicks and sending young fella's home for an early shower. Took a kick right on the side of the knee which hurt quite a bit and affected me, mentally more than physically, getting my leg up to block in subsequent rounds. I looked down at my knee at the end of the first round to assess the damage and instantly wished I hadn't bothered.
Second round was better and I got to more of his kicks than before. Took a couple of his punches but my extra thick skull and big neck meant I could ignore them for the most part. Gave it back to him as well and landed a few nice punches of my own, not least of which was a left hook from in close that shook him enough that I could see it. This was closely followed by a clinch in which I got the better of him and gave him a knee in the face, in the same style as won me my first fight. Unlucky though, I launched it half a second too late and he had already started to pull away so I didn't get a full touch. Followed this up with a left hook and I thought it was all over when he sat up. He looked around blankly and I figured he didn't know where he was, and even when he stood up he shook his head like he wanted to quit, but it was not to be. I had a bit of a cold going into the fight which I didn't think would make that much difference but when I went to inhale through my nose at the end of the second round, I could only breath through my mouth.
I came out in the third, starting to feel the effects of fatigue and we got to it again, with him turning the pace up a little. Not to be outdone I gave it back as hard as I got it. At one stage, in the clinch, I tried a very anaerobic movement which didn't pay off and I felt instantly drained. In fact it was thew very same feeling I get in training that prompts me to take a break, but there was no breaks to be had here. I went back in to him and he kicked me so hard I fell. There was a huge cheer from half of the crowd and I jumped straight back up. I don't mind him beating me, but I'll be fucked if I let him steal my audience. So we were right back in the clinch, and when I twisted him around, I knew it was all over, even before I fired my knee. My stronger one at that.
Unlike in my first fight where I sort of threw my knee by accident. Not by accident as such, but I wasn't looking for it, it just sort of happened, this time from the clinch I was actively seeking this exact position. And it paid off.
So what did I learn this time? Well my dropping hands is still an issue, even when I replayed the fight in my head, and I imagined the ideal response to his various attacks, I still imagined the perfect fighter I visualise myself as, with a dropped lead hand. Also, my cardio was an issue as the match wore on and I doubt I'd have made it through five rounds. Now I'd like to say my cold, the heat and humidity were contributing factors but the awful truth is, I didn't train long enough or hard enough or often enough as I could or should have and it could have cost me the match. This will definitely change for the next fight. And I learned not to be too relaxed. I was very tense going into the first fight but by contrast I felt almost no anxiety for the second. I was very relaxed, but maybe a little too relaxed as the first few hard shots were a bit of a shock. But then nothing focus the mind quite so well as being shot at, as Churchill would say. And he should know, because he's dead.
So I won my second fight. And the Irish in Chiang Mai were out in force to show their support. This one was a lot tougher against a better opponent for more rounds. This guy was tough, he even took a knee to the face in the second round which I thought would have finished him but he stood straight back up and got back in the affray. One of the tougher guys from our gym fought him before and had five rounds of hell before a points victory and a leg that took enough of a beating to make Rodney King blush. I am glad to have only found this out after the match or those kicks of his would have really hurt.
Had an alright first round, but needed Tim to remind me to relax and pace myself. I suppose it's just the bouncer in me trying to finish as soon as possible so I can get back to getting phone numbers from chicks and sending young fella's home for an early shower. Took a kick right on the side of the knee which hurt quite a bit and affected me, mentally more than physically, getting my leg up to block in subsequent rounds. I looked down at my knee at the end of the first round to assess the damage and instantly wished I hadn't bothered.
Second round was better and I got to more of his kicks than before. Took a couple of his punches but my extra thick skull and big neck meant I could ignore them for the most part. Gave it back to him as well and landed a few nice punches of my own, not least of which was a left hook from in close that shook him enough that I could see it. This was closely followed by a clinch in which I got the better of him and gave him a knee in the face, in the same style as won me my first fight. Unlucky though, I launched it half a second too late and he had already started to pull away so I didn't get a full touch. Followed this up with a left hook and I thought it was all over when he sat up. He looked around blankly and I figured he didn't know where he was, and even when he stood up he shook his head like he wanted to quit, but it was not to be. I had a bit of a cold going into the fight which I didn't think would make that much difference but when I went to inhale through my nose at the end of the second round, I could only breath through my mouth.
I came out in the third, starting to feel the effects of fatigue and we got to it again, with him turning the pace up a little. Not to be outdone I gave it back as hard as I got it. At one stage, in the clinch, I tried a very anaerobic movement which didn't pay off and I felt instantly drained. In fact it was thew very same feeling I get in training that prompts me to take a break, but there was no breaks to be had here. I went back in to him and he kicked me so hard I fell. There was a huge cheer from half of the crowd and I jumped straight back up. I don't mind him beating me, but I'll be fucked if I let him steal my audience. So we were right back in the clinch, and when I twisted him around, I knew it was all over, even before I fired my knee. My stronger one at that.
Unlike in my first fight where I sort of threw my knee by accident. Not by accident as such, but I wasn't looking for it, it just sort of happened, this time from the clinch I was actively seeking this exact position. And it paid off.
So what did I learn this time? Well my dropping hands is still an issue, even when I replayed the fight in my head, and I imagined the ideal response to his various attacks, I still imagined the perfect fighter I visualise myself as, with a dropped lead hand. Also, my cardio was an issue as the match wore on and I doubt I'd have made it through five rounds. Now I'd like to say my cold, the heat and humidity were contributing factors but the awful truth is, I didn't train long enough or hard enough or often enough as I could or should have and it could have cost me the match. This will definitely change for the next fight. And I learned not to be too relaxed. I was very tense going into the first fight but by contrast I felt almost no anxiety for the second. I was very relaxed, but maybe a little too relaxed as the first few hard shots were a bit of a shock. But then nothing focus the mind quite so well as being shot at, as Churchill would say. And he should know, because he's dead.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Those that do not remember the past...
Are doomed to have their head kicked in by me on Monday. Well hopefully anyway. In fact I'm going to make a point of not smack talking before a fight as those are always the guys who end up collecting their teeth with broken fingers.
Anyway, fighting monday at 3 o clock GMT, so have the head down for that. I'll post with details on tuesday and let ye all know how great I am/ corrupt Thailand is. (delete as applicable)
Anyway, fighting monday at 3 o clock GMT, so have the head down for that. I'll post with details on tuesday and let ye all know how great I am/ corrupt Thailand is. (delete as applicable)
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
This would never have happened under the Nazis
Hello everybody, I've missed you.
Right then, serious news first, I've taken a fight for the second of July. I was actually a bit apprehensive about taking another fight, but as soon as I told the promoter, I was quite calm. So same as before I guess. Train like buggery then go at the poor bugger like a bear possessed. And now for more of my inane prattle.
First up, the homos. What is the deal with them anyway? I thought they couldn't reproduce. It seems to me that there's more now than ever. Not that I'm complaining, just an observation. I also applaud their ability to score pills year round, without fail, while the rest of us have to put up with the usual droughts. Bravo lads.
Now, to anyone who was out last Wednesday in Chiang Mai, I would like to apologise on behalf of the two singing dickheads on the motorbike. Although, if you weren't one of those dickheads, I guarantee you didn't have the most fun Wednesday night.
While I'm in the neighbourhood, I'd like to raise a point about drink driving. I always thought that you'd have to be pretty stupid to drink and drive as there were no possible benefits to be gained. But I had no idea it could be so much fun. I did so many stupid, drunk moped things, that after the usual, where am I?, what did I do?, who's blood is this? questions I had one of those Alfred Hitchcock moments, where the background is all zoomed out but the subject stays in the middle and I realised I cheated death at least a dozen times. In your face death.
I can't believe I forgot to mention my two mates, Cormac and Gene, from back home who were in the area for the last two weeks. We hung out a bit but unfortunately I was training quite hard so didn't get to see as much of them as I wanted.
My last bit for the week is for the guys only, or freaky women. I'm thinking of bringing back the Charlie Chaplin tache. Though given my frequent and obscene racism I'll need some help or people will use it's other name when talking about me. It's other name of course being a Hitler. Are ye with me lads?
Anyway, that's me. Enjoy youser selfs.
Right then, serious news first, I've taken a fight for the second of July. I was actually a bit apprehensive about taking another fight, but as soon as I told the promoter, I was quite calm. So same as before I guess. Train like buggery then go at the poor bugger like a bear possessed. And now for more of my inane prattle.
First up, the homos. What is the deal with them anyway? I thought they couldn't reproduce. It seems to me that there's more now than ever. Not that I'm complaining, just an observation. I also applaud their ability to score pills year round, without fail, while the rest of us have to put up with the usual droughts. Bravo lads.
Now, to anyone who was out last Wednesday in Chiang Mai, I would like to apologise on behalf of the two singing dickheads on the motorbike. Although, if you weren't one of those dickheads, I guarantee you didn't have the most fun Wednesday night.
While I'm in the neighbourhood, I'd like to raise a point about drink driving. I always thought that you'd have to be pretty stupid to drink and drive as there were no possible benefits to be gained. But I had no idea it could be so much fun. I did so many stupid, drunk moped things, that after the usual, where am I?, what did I do?, who's blood is this? questions I had one of those Alfred Hitchcock moments, where the background is all zoomed out but the subject stays in the middle and I realised I cheated death at least a dozen times. In your face death.
I can't believe I forgot to mention my two mates, Cormac and Gene, from back home who were in the area for the last two weeks. We hung out a bit but unfortunately I was training quite hard so didn't get to see as much of them as I wanted.
My last bit for the week is for the guys only, or freaky women. I'm thinking of bringing back the Charlie Chaplin tache. Though given my frequent and obscene racism I'll need some help or people will use it's other name when talking about me. It's other name of course being a Hitler. Are ye with me lads?
Anyway, that's me. Enjoy youser selfs.
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