Humourous title on backorder

Right so. Went to Burma again. Fuck me, what a dump. Actually Burma, or Myanmar as it is now known, is lovely but the border town I passed is a fucking hole. It is so bad that people from Bangkok could legitimately be disgusted by it.
Anyway, got on this little mini bus at 7am and was almost instantly joined by an aging, none to gracefully, Canadian hippie and I'm struck at how instantly annoying she is. I'm sure she could have been classed as presentable in the 60's but it's obvious that she has seen better decades. One of these women that's been all over, although I must point out that it's been all over here too, by the looks of it. Her very first words to me are 'OH, we booked those seats. Me and my boyfriend always sit there'. Now, for those that don't know, nothing in Thailand is ever booked or reserved or anything else like it, and I could definitely win the argument, if I'm bothered but I can see that this woman is a succubus and immediately relent. 'No problem', I shout over my shoulder as I move to the opposite end of the bus, my bouncy senses tingling. And as usual, they are dead right. Straight away she starts a fight with her Thai boyfriend. 'Say something nice Mark', 'Pay me a compliment mark', 'Acknowledge me when I speak Mark', she begins, barely able to contain the overwhelming self pity. It is about this time, I realise, I will have to kill her. 'Why don't you send me any (wait for it) positive energy Mark? Hmmm? Why? I am always sending you my energy. What about all that (again, wait for it) sexual energy I sent you last night?' It is about this time, I realise I will have to be very sick before I can kill anyone. 'Tip me the wink and we'll kill her together, Mark', I project, but unfortunately Mark isn't psychic. Mark has the right idea though and turns up his i-pod earphones, lowers his shades and settles back for a snooze.
I spend the rest of the journey with a nice elderly gent from the Netherlands. Although as our journey goes on I realise I am not getting the whole truth. I suspect he may be a Nazi war criminal and start to weigh up the evidence,
1. He hasn't been to Holland in over 30 years and wont say why.
2. He changes the subject every time I try and talk about the war
3. He has one of those serial killer moustasches.
4. Probably the most damning piece of evidence, I have read a book on Nazi hunters and want to be one.
An interesting phenomenon about Thai culture (no link to the Visa story by the way) is the age disparity in relationships. 30 year old guys like to go out with girls around 18 to 20. And the 18 to 20 year olds like to go out with girls around 14. I can only assume that the 14 year olds like to go out with foetus'. I mean, I know it's part of the culture and all, but if my 18 year old daughter came home with a 30 year old on her arm I would probaly just lock in her room for another 18 years, mumbling about how I knew it was too early to let her out. But the 30 year old who thought he was on to a good thing turning up at my daughters place would be beaten black and fucking blue, the cheeky fucker.
Lastly, I started grappling with Pedro Lott, from Brazilian Top Team this week. Very enjoyable but very hard. Not the lessons, he is actually a very good teacher, with a laid back style and manner that makes it very easy to grasp and remember, but the guy himself. It's like wrestling a bag of angry snakes at bedtime.
Anyway, that's all for this week. Be good.